secret-filled confetti and intricate confessions

There is no pretty way to put it. There is no way to paint over the cracks. Maybe there are too many words in your fingers; nervous hands trembling within a still-eyed nightmare. You cannot be hushed so easily when he folds you over like the hem of a skirt that’s been irreverently handled by churlish hands – corrosive and deceptive. Viciously stripped and you’re left as naked as your heart but the drummers stubbornly march on anyway, and beats entrancingly in your chest. The clock pinned to your wall keeps reminding you that the rest of the world is sleeping; you think the moon can never be full again and the stars found their way home. And these awkward, awkward nights when your eyelids flicker more than the seizing streetlight outside of your bedroom window, you feel the minutes being sucked out of you in his hour of delirium though burning stares from eyes so cold – so cold – those vacant iceberg eyes.

Kick that hourglass. Topple it. Tip it over so that it can finally be half full rather than empty.

There’s no use in continuing the search when your fingers have failed in finding the answers. Swallow the hurt as he leans on the comfort of a half-hearted splendour to stroke him with fantasy licked marks. Fingerprints. Lips. Noses. They all form a temptress mosaic in [he]r eyes. He finds [he]r most graceful, like a fairy and he speaks of [he]r in ways you could only dream of living up to. It’s impossible. He’s injected letters into margins that’s filled with cock-loaded words smudged in a day old beer stain he swears he meant to say. You were never his forever, but a waypoint that will teach him everything he never wants to feel again where he sits in a corner, closing his eyes against a memory you made sure he would never forget.

Because our hearts lead us down one-way roads and sometimes you have to break the rules in order to get back. The need to preserve your past was the main reason you held onto the things that hurt you the most; change scares you; letting go was something you were never good at. Set those stars free and scatter them like a diamond storm taking life in your lashes.

Blink him away.


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